Do you ever wonder where the “can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series” kind of butterflies are?
Is my whole life going to be a cheap imitation of how I first loved?
I’m starting to think it can’t happen more than once…. that regardless of how fond I am of you, it just isn’t authentic.
This relationship is only passionate in the sense that you bring out my demons in me…. and that’s not healthy for YOUR SAKE. I’m so destructive to you and yet you stay.
And now I’ve signed away to another year living with you, when all I think about is how sometimes I feel stuck and it’s all my fault for rushing into something that I’m not fully healed for.
How you think I’m in love with you when deep down I’m not… yet, anyway.
It’s so foolish.
And yet here I am.